I wrote yesterday that I was resolved to do more local exploring. As today involved staying in, waiting for a new washing machine to be delivered (the previous Indesit having expired after a paltry six years of service) I was confined, literally, to my own backyard. Now we’re not keen gardeners, more accidental owners of an overgrown tract of land, the outdoor equivalent of Miss Havisham’s ruined mansion. But one thing we do seem to have done is to populate the garden with a variety of icons plundered from the world’s religions. We never set out to be polytheists – but visits to garden centres and shops such as Past Times seem to have taken us in that direction. (Who knew such innocent-seeming places would become hotbeds of idolatry?) As well as official gods there are demiurges, sprites and avatars of less certain provenance. To show what I mean here’s a theologicomythical photo safari of my garden…
To start with here’s a Buddha
kept company by another, who is steadily being absorbed by the undergrowth.
This Celtic cross brings a hint of Christianity (and the ‘Pet Sematary’ reference may deter visiting media-literate cats):
This god I made myself, from worn bricks found on the coast north of Crosby:
Hidden behind a tree, barely visible, is a ‘circle of friends’
(Look carefully, this is the kind of thing you’re seeking – you can just see the tops of their heads

– our garden ones remind me of the stone trolls in Tolkien.)
This cherub is guarded by three gargoyles, surrounding a young maple, with the wintry skeleton of a lemonbalm in the background:
Kuan Yin, goddess of compassion, has some kind of fertility rabbit for company
And who’s this, clambering through a bed of bolted herbs and the broken shards of a terramundi pot? Why, it’s Lara Croft in toy form, bought for 10p at a car boot sale:
This guy brings a flavour of Lewis Carroll or Beatrix Potter to his corner by the garage:
A grumpy imp (like the one in the Talisman game) looks after an opposite corner:
and we have a guard dog by the back door:
Peering into Jennie’s office, we see a fading fairy, the tip of Ganesha’s head and part of a black Madonna. (Plus there’s a Rosie the Riveter action figure just out of shot.)
Indoors, there are more Buddhas starting with this one, the Buddha of the Radiator, often found imbuing our drying clothes with infinite compassion:
By the fire, another Ganesha
and above it, not one but two Buddhas, a cross and postcard featuring our old pals the Circle of Friends.
Buddha wins on points. There are still a few pantheons left that we haven’t incorporated into our decor… not many though. We have gods the way other people have squirrel infestations.
In our defence, I’d say we’re not so much worshipping graven images as allowing them to proliferate so as to reduce their effect 🙂
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